Saturday, May 17th 2008 3:13 PM
Pebbles is loafing right by my side, she in her cute self looking at me. Her black sparkling eyes nearly tearing me apart. I looked at the ice cream tumbler in my hand and then at her, hell she was priority like always. I put the unfinished tumbler in front of her...she smelled it, licked it once growled a little and again started inspecting me as I worked on my computer.
Her eyes, the hanging tongue and the droopy ears still did not make me understand what she was looking for...I lifted her and made her sit on my lap..she looked at the keyboard, then at the monitor...gave my hand a lick and went to sleep. Guess the summer heat and the construction behind the house was bothering her.
The question once again forming in my head, my parents wanted her out and so attached was she to me that I had started resenting their remarks. From childhood I was crazy bout bears and dogs...guess their cute funny side made me compare them to cartoons that I religiously watched every morning at 5:00 AM before going to school.
My ex knew bout it, she was the only one with whom I had spent intimate moments telling her bout my life...my eyes, my eyes! were closing as I fell into a gentle slumber... zzz
My birthday came and went I thought she of all people wouldn't have forgotten, but with so much of work I had no way of knowing who was at fault. A week after, on one of the weekends the doorbell in the morning surprised me. She was standing with a huge card and an equally huge gift, wrapped.
She kissed me, looked down and turned around with a weird noise escaping her lips. Sounded like a "Owee"!!! with no time to decipher I headed back inside the house to grab something to wear. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment and not meeting her eye, asked her to sit on the bed as I made my way to the kitchen. Asking her from there if she needed anything.
She must have realized my nervousness, when she followed me in...gave a hug and wished me belated wishes...the big wrapped thing turned out to be a cuddly bear...i named him dix after her...
*yawn* ... But why remem what happened nearly a year back, the hot weather is the culprit, sure as hell playing games with me...
At present a golden lab adorns my otherwise filthy place, same color as my bear. She always feels I like the bear more, so looks for any moment for me to leave the bear alone. Even after staying with me for the last 14 months she doesn't realize who my affection is with whatever the odds. Neither pebbles nor does she, to whom i professed my love some months back.
Just as with Pebbles, when afraid, her hair all the way down her spine will stand up. She displays the same...afraid, of me being with her would raise questions on her integrity. She giggles when with me but the same turns into heavy breaths when she smells I am talking love. She is all smiles, standing next to me in between friends, but the smiles disappears when standing next to me; she feels the fear of being watched.
Its not upto me to hold back the talk, someone makes about us. I have to tell her, nonetheless she gets to know bout it later and accuses me of "pinching her bottom". Her not being well marks me in the arena of people being ridiculed, and when she acts like a stranger with me next to her...I feel she is part of the group mocking me.
... Is it because I have lost being my mysterious side around her, that she is not interested or my perseverance to remain aloof been blotched?
{My mind thinks a lot when exposed}
... to my right a near empty bottle lies precariously perched on a match box...
I lift the bottle emptying the contents in my mouth, placing it back I again got lost in the moments when I was happy...hmmm...
"Stroustrup staring from the counter above, as always his being in between Schildt and Stevens made me little comfy...that I am not yet a closed chapter lying in dust next to the last of the Harry Potter books..."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment