mistake...duh...

...really don know when that infatuation the physical attraction to her, really changed into love...

I always thought it was under my power to tell her stuff I did, i never anticipated the change of regime of my feelings itself...

...standing with her, gave the sudden ecstasy of being a winner and I lost that chance. I imagined i could make her free with her feelings; I could imagine her, speaking to her parents about us. But after what I said to her on the fateful night of Oct 11, coupled with the nightmare I had; stopped me dead in my tracks...

...within moments it appeared as if god asked me to stop my heart and think...
...think of what's happening, on how it started, on how I wanted it to end...
and then I realized if I can't keep her happy over 2 months, how would I do it over a lifetime...
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But, this was somethin unbelievable. I came to the land of opportunities and was fortunate enough to meet 2 angels (one became a friend, another a very close friend)...and then came the sudden realization that I would be loosing them both soon...

"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, she is beautiful because you love her."
~Anonymous

Remorse...unwarranted

Life was never that full of remorse...that from having everything, I lost everything (just in a blink of an eye)

People kept saying that I was a fool to continue with her...did they understand my lack of maturity to handle 'relationships' or were they too eager to make my bulky frame move, so that they could fit in...

...whatever, for them it was just another joke..they played with everybody; question was did anybody respond back...mostly NO

I was probably those one in thousand 'souls' who made sure that if I lost, I would loose it all and then don' even have the dignity to accept the mistake I have committed...the loss was mutual, jus not for me or her...

Guess the eagerness and greed just made me too over-possessive and forget the fact that 'goodness' doesn't last for long...and in my case, god is extra careful (Oh! My Gosh, why does he even bother to do that for an atheist!!!)

As my friend sayz...
"Opinions are like ass holes, everybody has one"

Guess in my case...I never needed an opinion to be one...

jus another mornin...

...the day was as clear as ever, the only exception my flat mate had switched 'on' the fan in the wee hours of the mornin...by the time I woke, it was chillin to the bones and my throat was hurting like hell...
I thought this was a bad start to a day, but can it go worse!

woke up an' went to office

...the first person I saw there, was my ex
the only thing good with her could have been 'sex';
otherwise she does look like a sister concern of 'Rex'-o-potomus...

...once she looked like an angel,
an awesome smile on a cute face, that could floor thousands
the attraction was mutual, but not the love
and by the time my realization came, I was sucked by a 'literal' whore...

...I said a 'Hi' and turned my back,
before she could give me one of her smiles.
Either she smiles in front of me or behind me,
the reason is the same to mock the hurt she's caused me...

I walked over to my cubicle and started work
...knowing the fact that illusions will fall when i see her again...